Buying a gift for someone who (gasp) has never watched LOST? Use this gift-giving occasion to recruit a new member into the secret cult of LOST.
The Moonies used flowers. Our methods are more sophisticated:
Stage I Indoctrination Supplies
First, your victims, um future fellow travelers, will need a complete set
of all the LOST DVDs for Seasons 1 to 5.
Next, you must provide them with an continuous supply of coffee, so that they stay awake around the clock, doing nothing but watching LOST LOST LOST, until all memories of the outside world fade away. Give them an attractive Hydra mug, and keep topping it off with fresh hot caffeine-laden beverages. Sleep deprivation makes resistance melt away.
Next provide them with a LOST Soundtrack CD
so that if they ever leave their perch in front of the TV, they can remain immersed in the world of LOST. Twenty-four/seven saturation is the key to creating loyal cult members.
Help them understand what they are watching. Messages from the Island
has the best interviews, articles, photos, and art from the official LOST magazine, covering the first two seasons of the show. Finding LOST: The Unofficial Guide
by blogger Nikki Stafford will guide them even deeper along the sacred path. Finally, Lost Ate My Life
by Jon Lachonis (blogger DocArtz) and Amy “hijinx” Johnston will give them a glimpse of their glorious future.
The last step is to bestow on them the holy Dharma jumpsuit. Make them wear it. They won’t understand why, at first, but give them time, and they will come to adore the khaki as much as we do.
